As strange as my fascination with bodily functions might seem to you, let me just enlighten you now. They are still funny to me fifteen years after I laughed at my first fart joke. Why are they funny? Well because of the sounds and the smells and for the mature readers, the awkwardness. Oh, sweet awkwardness!
One of the best places for ‘doing the deed’ in my opinion is the university’s library toilets as they are clean, white and they smell nice. The pooper’s dream. I had spent all day in the library trying to start an important essay while avoiding the lure of procastination but unknown to me, my intestines had been quite busy during the same period. I was about to leave to go to a friend’s place (where I was to spend the night) when it heralded its arrival. I am filled with so much regret when I realise how easy it would have been to follow my animalistic insticts and just drop it there and then, just like a goat. Incidentally, if you’ve never seen it before, goat’s poop looks like dark, rounded raisins.
To cut the long story short, I had to let it go in my friend’s toilet (though I didn’t let her know for obvious reasons). I knew it would take at least five minutes with arranging tissue on the seats (germs you know?) to pushing, wiping the tears from my face, pushing again, wiping (not my face this time) and finally, flushing. So I thought long and hard and I decided the best way to do so without calling attention to myself would be to go to the toilet on the pretext of changing into my pyjamas and of course, opening the window.
Judging by my congratulatory tone, I think you can tell that I was successful because I managed to deal with all three: the sounds, the smell and the awkwardness. It was a good night.
Like this:
Pingback: Strangeness abounds « Strange Days